an ogre

That's what I felt like today, on my run.
Big, heavy, horrifyingly scary looking...and old.
The first km felt quick and painful, I was enjoying the sunshine, I wore shorts!
My ankles hurt so that I almost limped a little, favoring my right. Ow! That sucked, and I couldn't get my mind off of it until the roundabout, up Cumberland Rd. I decided to go up to Arden Rd, and across, down my hill trials hill, Lake Trail Rd., back home. I died going up Cumberland to Arden. I felt thirsty, I've already worked four hours in the sun today, pulling up a beauty of a giant yucca to bring home to my yard, weeding, pulling parsnips that have gotten massive, over-wintering in my garden, and planting garlic. I'm tired.

I couldn't go any further when it told me halfway, I paused the machine and stood on the road, doubled over, hands on my knees, panting like a dog. Moaning. I got a nasty cramp, early on, its been bugging me for days, now, from under my ribs, straight up to my collarbone on the left side, it feels like I can't take a deep enough breath when it shows up, like I pulled a muscle around my ribs. Sucks. Stuck with me the rest of the run. Pretty sure it's a dehydration thing, it takes me a while every season to get back into the habit of drinking enough.
Standing there in the shade, halfway along Arden Rd, I saw a jogger coming my way from behind me. I set off, again, mainly to avoid the embarrassment of being overtaken and left in the dust of some uber runner...I'm not out to set any records, but I hate competition! I turned down my hill and the easy part I was looking forward to never came, since the cramp wouldn't let me breathe, I was groaning past the bike shop when the tiny 20yr old blonde girl trotted past me, without even a 'hey!"
Bitch. I hated that she didn't say hi. I don't mind being passed, I expect it. I sort of keep my antennae out when I notice someone is behind me, but her nasty, tight little face, the way she didn't acknowledge me, and her serious fast pace, made me feel as though I wasn't trying. My feet felt leaden, I felt like I was carrying some creature on my back, I just felt huge!
Anyways, I cut into the school field, just so that I wouldn't have to watch her tiny behind fade into the distance ahead of me. The field was nice and shady and there's a great big old cherry tree in bloom on the far side. I went to skip a song as I loped over the grass, and the machine told me my pace was 10:24...well, I gave up there. I walked for awhile, just left the ipod timing my stroll under the pretty. I was now officially over this run. I hated it today. Stupid running. I can't even keep a seven minute pace! I am so slow! This is so hard! It is so hot! I am so fucking thirsty! Yeah, all the loud voices in my head being bitchy all at once. I told them to fuck off quietly, from somewhere inside I couldn't pinpoint, and set out running again. Run home, just get home.
It was hard the whole way today. The pains in my ankles and torso today were loud. The naysayers moved back into my consciousness from wherever they've been hiding and heckled and told me to quit. My feet! Is it the new shoes? Too bad this run sucked, because what a lovely day out there...shame I didn't get out of myself.