urg

I'm trying. I took two runs in two days.
One down the tracks, my favorite route, to Staples, for more paper for my printer to print out my notes to study with. Then last, night, at the last moment, after feeling defeated by my day and laying around for three hours trying to read textbooks, putting off going to yoga until it was too late, and eating half a pizza to spite myself. After I had given up, I crawled out of bed, put on my long pants, gloves, toque and headphones, and went out and ran as far as I could until my knee started to complain. My decision to walk to work got sidetracked by needing to get a doctors note that says I am allowed to skate again while at work. But I left my wheels there and walked home, which means I am forced to walk back there in the morning if I don't walk up the hill to school. So its happening, somehow, its happening, and MAN does it HURT!

Ask...

Funny how Life answers sometimes.
I've been swimming 3 times a week the past 2 weeks. Its helped my achilles immensely. I've been stressing out over this 30 pounds that snuck up on me due to the amount of sitting time school and studying entails. But for the past three months I've been watching what I eat, keeping tabs, typing in everything I put into my mouth, feeling deprived, but only by my own hand; not eating 1 chocolate bar every two days or sundaes and burgers on the weekend, one cup of morning coffee instead of two. But that has not helped at all, either way, it's only stressed me out. My weight has stayed exactly where it has been since last winter. I actually lost more weight not paying attention and eating what my body craved, when my body craved it, than I have while I've been meticulously logging each morsel. So fuck this. Once again, activity is the only answer for me.

So I've been meaning to get off my ass. Quit driving to school, walk more. Ride my bike around town. But its so damn cold, and wet, and early, and my stupid achilles hurts all the time, etc, etc...
...aaand my truck broke today. Last month I spent a thousand dollars to make sure it would keep running beautifully through the winter, as it always has. And today it would not stay running for further than one block at a time. I had to leave it in the lot and walk home from school. Take a deep breath and get stepping. Down the long hill, the daunting hill, across the flat estuary, and over the bridge. Up the little hill through the quaint little decked out for Christmas main street town. It took 45 minutes. My ankle hurts as much as it always does, no more or less. So, okay, Life, I fuckin hear ya. Truck is parked. Im a'walking it out.