five star

Whoa, shit.
Today I don't feel so hot. Totally have PMS, which explains the crying in the bank, and the straight past pukey to sobbing tonight at camel pose. Obviously not really me sobbing in the middle of a room full of people, that would never happen. But that's what I was trying to hold in. I had a grumpy practice today. Even though I was so looking forward to it. What threw me off? Really full full class. Two little teenage fancy girls literally throwing their stuff down next to me, really close, as I was trying to relax beforehand. I went in with lots of pain today, after a full four hours of weeding and scissorhanding at my last completed winter put down garden. I was celebrating! What happened? I am consumed by crazy feelings!
Whatever, its PMS, they are feelings on the loose, and like Ghostbusters crossing streams, I just have to keep them under control. Yeah, I was aggro! haha! The lady in front of me looked at me as we were turning around for savasana near the end and I wanted to what her. I was struggling by the last standing pose, had to lay down. I hate that I struggle with triangles now! I want to easy out and do them in wrong form like half the rest of the starey bitches, but I wont, I will do little weak hipped, hardly crouching ones until my hips can hold me strong, and bring me up on their own. I could touch my fuckin forehead to my shins in straight leg, too , if I bent my back over like that one and that one and that one...hahaha...I think I might like the second row better. I couldn't see the front mirror today at all, so my only focus was the blue hairtie of the girl in front of me. Or my eyes just wandered over the rounded backs of everyone that was faking that one.
For me, though, I did well. Yes, I had to lie down at standing tree, which then threw me the angry ball that I could get rid of, but I worked hard, and thats why I had to lay down. I shook and shuddered in my muscles. My knees held me for the crouch when they are squished together and you sink down. So what if they couldn't lift me up again...well, yeah, I guess that matters. But I am getting there and getting through...it just ended with me feeling...too much.
and now I'm home and emo...where's a good place to go to scream?