run of my life

So when I was telling some people I was going camping at Golden Ears and was looking forward to a run in the woods, this 5Peaks thing was brought up. I searched it out on the internet and printed out the map for the sport course. It looked like an achievable challenge. Difficult, but doable.
http://www.5peaks.com/schedule.asp?p=bc
The Golden Ears run went down in April.

I set off at 5:30, having learned my lesson of no new trails in the darkness. I had to drive down to the start place, much too far from the campsite to consider adding onto the 8.8kms it already was. Plus, I didn't know what to expect.
I clutched that map in my sweaty palm the whole way, and still got a little lost right at the start, through criss crossing trails surrounding the day use area. Once I was going, though, it was golden. Through the forest, lots of ups and downs, and twists, and rocky, rooty challenges. My body was not used to all of the elevation changes, I am spoiled by the flat surface in my road runs. It was glorious. Steep climbs, muddy gullies, a bog, little bridges, and open forest floors, covered in my favorite ferns. I loved the feeling of climbing.
I run faster in the woods, I know this without having my Ipod tracker thingy. I had to slow myself down to keep pace with my heartbeat. I loved the idea of how intense the training must be for this kind of running, as I was listening to my heart thump in my ears. My stamina is definitely not yet up to par for this course.
I was getting tired already at 4.5kms, and questioning my motives in doing this, as I came to the bottom of the 'Mike Lake Trail'. I stopped and looked up the path. It wasn't so much a path as a steep rocky gully that disappeared straight up a hillside, into the treetops. I got very nervous, considering the dangers of getting hurt out on this one, with no one really knowing just where I went. I went ahead, in spite of my fears and doubts that I could make it up the next 1.5 or so kms- which, on the course map showed an elevation gain of about one foot per foot, or 125m. I gathered up my mental strength and went forward. Upward. Onward. Into the creepiest woods, empty of everything green, just brown poles, and brown ground, with lots of windfallen trees laying between the living ones. As if I needed any reenforcement that this was bad ju-ju, there was the forest around me appearing haunted.
I focused on the path, and gave it my all, until I felt like my heart would bust out of my ears, exploding my head with the incredible volume of blood that was causing this molten lava red face. I got lightheaded and slowed to a walk, but a fast walk. I was not going to stop for anything, I was trucking, and determined. I saw a marker, 0.5, on a tree. Seriously? That's it? Fuck.
Keep climbing. Rocks slipping under clumsy feet, echoing through the empty ghost forest I was trying to sneak past. I put myself out of my mind when I could not imagine going any further, and just kept taking steps.
A waterfall! A summit? It made a sick, gurgling, slurping sound as I hiked past it, barely able to breathe. The path seemed to ease out a little and I forced my self to run. I turned a corner, and it was all downhill in front of me. A toad startled me. I had nearly stepped on it. In this forest, it was so likely a thing to see, but I was immeasurably happy to see another living thing, I grabbed onto the idea of it as my spirit helper. I was also pretty amazed at myself. I had had a moment of complete crumbling, a feeling like I would die if I went on, and I passed over it.
I really came face to face with myself on this run, and I don't give a fuck if that sounds cheesy.
I carefully hopped down, down, down, until I reached the road and crossed it again, back into familiar territory, back into the easier terrain. I was cheering myself on all the way down.
My knee was squishy, that was definitely a result of the difficult coming down. It was tricky to keep my feet and knees and body all stable and engaged so nothing would twist or strain, and that knee always gets swelly after six K. It hurt, but at this point I was happy to get home, and I ran. I ran fast! Through salmon berry bushes that were trying to eat the trail, up and down rolling dusty, gravelly, and muddy tree lined pathways, where other people feet had sank up to their knees, I floated over, knowing that I had done it.
I got back to the beach area, still very occupied my day trippers, and walked to the water's edge. I didn't give a crap any more, I stripped down to the sports bra and undies as I they were made for swimming in, and dove right in, ducking under and floating and stretching and smiling.
Hardest run so far.
And also the best run ever.