SO nice to wake up to sunshine!
I had my coffee, and got psyched to go.
I felt like maybe I couldn't do it for some reason. Not sure where that's coming from, but as I set out, I was nervous about the distance.
I decided to go a new route, to make it interesting, and it was. I started running from 5th St., along the train tracks. It's uneven, gravelly in some places, and I had to switch from one side of the tracks to the other four or five times. It was nice, though, empty, and forested. A lot of it was running on mossy ground...so nice.
I ran all the way to Wal-Mart before I stopped for a minute of walking. My pedometer said it was only 3.5kms, which seems not as far as I thought, but I dont trust it anyway. I decided to keep on the tracks past the mall, I've never been back there, and I knew that Comox Logging Road is on the other side somewhere. It was so nice in there! There's a river coming through right before the road, and it looks like it could be an awesome hidden swimming hole in the summer. Note to self.
Went down the road alongside Millard Park to the waterfront, across the old highway, and back to my boardwalk that I found last week. It was busy along the waterfront path...hordes of peeps out to enjoy the Sunday sunshine. I said hi to everyone I passed, and it was such a nice run. I stayed slow and started getting really thirsty.
I stopped to walk again at the start of the airpark, the water fountain wasn't working and I started to get grossed out thinking about my muscles sticking together!!! Thanks alot for that info Paula! Haha! I couldnt stop thinking about it for the rest or the run, as I was getting sore here and there.
The path from the airpark gains about 15 feet from the water level, and every foot seemed to drag me down a little more. The last two kms were difficult, and I shuffled along slower and slower, thinking about this week's hill training start. Nervous, but excited for a new challenge.
I've come such a long way already. I'm so proud of myself. I finished ten kilometres today in one hour and thirteen minutes. I know my time is going to keep getting a little better, and if I run that thing in even under three hours, I will be amazed.
I ended up walking the last .7, up the hill from the river to my house. The sun was so warm, and I was covered in salty brine and my cheeks were all patchy red like they get, and I felt really good.
Have to keep on top of my physio, though, I've been in pain all week and ditched out of two of my training runs that I need to keep doing. I'm pretty sure it's just stress from the job I do. But not long now until I have some earning options...feels like spring is here already. Pretty soon I'm back in business for myself.
Time to go back outside!
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Thursday, February 11, 2010
heaven
NoMeansNo's version kept me at it today.
I had to go to the gym, it is angry outside, the wind is making my house groan and creak.
I've felt poopy all week. Just unmotivated to do these runs since the sun went back into hiding...I need you, sunshine! Come back now?
School is on my mind...the cost of it mostly. If I weren't so damn responsible...If I'd gotten knocked up instead of taking precautions, I could go to school debt free like the rest of the girls there...it bothers me too much...I think my clock is starting to tick...I've never heard it before now.
Weird days.
Did my run on the treadmill and stared out the top slat windows at the tree branches waving around. Mouthed the words to a bunch of songs because I can't sing out loud at the gym. Sweated and slowed down one point from 5.6 every ten minutes until I'd been on there for forty minutes, and realised the gym had filled up and I was trudging along still, hogging it.
Enough.
My back aches a bit.
I had to go to the gym, it is angry outside, the wind is making my house groan and creak.
I've felt poopy all week. Just unmotivated to do these runs since the sun went back into hiding...I need you, sunshine! Come back now?
School is on my mind...the cost of it mostly. If I weren't so damn responsible...If I'd gotten knocked up instead of taking precautions, I could go to school debt free like the rest of the girls there...it bothers me too much...I think my clock is starting to tick...I've never heard it before now.
Weird days.
Did my run on the treadmill and stared out the top slat windows at the tree branches waving around. Mouthed the words to a bunch of songs because I can't sing out loud at the gym. Sweated and slowed down one point from 5.6 every ten minutes until I'd been on there for forty minutes, and realised the gym had filled up and I was trudging along still, hogging it.
Enough.
My back aches a bit.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
I ran into beautiful!
9k long run.
I decided not to drive down to the airpark. I walked down the hill to the riverwalk and just started from there. I didnt stop until I got to the end of the airpark, for my first minute of walking-that is from 6th street to about 21st street! Wow. Then, instead of circling around the airplace, I kept going, down along the waterfront to the end of town and then into this amazing park with the longest boardwalk ever, and a quiet river meandering itself away under the trees. The trail was soft, made of that grey slate rock mostly, and then dirt with roots laying across it. It wasn't muddy, and there were ferns on all sides and quiet stream sounds.
It was so nice in there, and I didn't even get to the end of it!
At the end of the endless boardwalk, my pedo said 9.11, so I turned back.
That is a worthy destination, and Im looking forward to next time to explore more of it. Along the water, in the tall dead grasses and bare bushes on the way back, were my favorite marshland birds, red-winged blackbirds with bright red yellow and orange epaulets, and their song is so familiar to me, and they bring spring with them every year.
The concrete ended about 1.5 kms before I turned back, so that was nice and mushy soft and my knees never started acting up today. I stopped at the beginning of the airpark on my way back for my walking minute, the same place I walked on my way there...it was a friendly Sunday, and so many dogs today!
I figure it took me about an hour to do it. Right before I left, I got a call from work saying I'm supposed to be there, even though I booked today off back in December...I fuckin hate that place. Now I have to stress about that and find my signed request forms...if I even kept them. I'm going to charge them for my time! If they cant keep the records, they are going to have to pay me to.
haha, damn straight...anyway, this has nothing to do with running. I looked at my ipod halfway through my stretches and it said 11:30, and I would have gotten that call at 10:15. So about an hour...pretty good for a fast walk runner!Yeah
It felt good, the sky was broken white, bits of blue falling through and the sun really trying to see me. I got a glimpse of the glacier. Said hello to some crocuses, snowdrops, and budding daffodils, an eagle, the quackers, the geese, the swans, those waxwings, and the waved at the crows fluffing their feathers in the trees.
And now Im done my long run for the week, and I looked forward to it since Friday this time. In the past I would have ben dreading this day!
Weird. Cool!
I decided not to drive down to the airpark. I walked down the hill to the riverwalk and just started from there. I didnt stop until I got to the end of the airpark, for my first minute of walking-that is from 6th street to about 21st street! Wow. Then, instead of circling around the airplace, I kept going, down along the waterfront to the end of town and then into this amazing park with the longest boardwalk ever, and a quiet river meandering itself away under the trees. The trail was soft, made of that grey slate rock mostly, and then dirt with roots laying across it. It wasn't muddy, and there were ferns on all sides and quiet stream sounds.
It was so nice in there, and I didn't even get to the end of it!
At the end of the endless boardwalk, my pedo said 9.11, so I turned back.
That is a worthy destination, and Im looking forward to next time to explore more of it. Along the water, in the tall dead grasses and bare bushes on the way back, were my favorite marshland birds, red-winged blackbirds with bright red yellow and orange epaulets, and their song is so familiar to me, and they bring spring with them every year.
The concrete ended about 1.5 kms before I turned back, so that was nice and mushy soft and my knees never started acting up today. I stopped at the beginning of the airpark on my way back for my walking minute, the same place I walked on my way there...it was a friendly Sunday, and so many dogs today!
I figure it took me about an hour to do it. Right before I left, I got a call from work saying I'm supposed to be there, even though I booked today off back in December...I fuckin hate that place. Now I have to stress about that and find my signed request forms...if I even kept them. I'm going to charge them for my time! If they cant keep the records, they are going to have to pay me to.
haha, damn straight...anyway, this has nothing to do with running. I looked at my ipod halfway through my stretches and it said 11:30, and I would have gotten that call at 10:15. So about an hour...pretty good for a fast walk runner!Yeah
It felt good, the sky was broken white, bits of blue falling through and the sun really trying to see me. I got a glimpse of the glacier. Said hello to some crocuses, snowdrops, and budding daffodils, an eagle, the quackers, the geese, the swans, those waxwings, and the waved at the crows fluffing their feathers in the trees.
And now Im done my long run for the week, and I looked forward to it since Friday this time. In the past I would have ben dreading this day!
Weird. Cool!
Saturday, February 6, 2010
no toque run!
It is getting warm out there, finally!
I waited for the lights to go out, that is taking longer now, too...I am so glad.
4k steady run, I rocked it tonight.
Started off easy, didn't even take my pedo. Just relaxed and one foot in front of the other, not thinking of speed or time. Just wandering around thoughts of what's coming, and the changes I'm going to have to make. In about a year from now, if I keep on track, I'll have a future. Today I have hopes for some future good times, and it's been awhile since I've felt that way.
I took my toque off before the end of my block, and let my hair flow out in the air, it felt good, and there were little occasional raindrops on my face, and everything smells alive again.
So, just ran and lounged around the pictures of my future forward thoughts. And I didn't stop running, and got excited when Biggie came on, talking about I'm coming up, and ran fast alongside Lake Trail School and around the store again...and it was easy, and I kept going faster than I've ever been able to sing along and run before.
This year might see some huge changes for me, other than this whole insane running show, which is one of those never thought I would things, too. I can't wait to see what happens...
I waited for the lights to go out, that is taking longer now, too...I am so glad.
4k steady run, I rocked it tonight.
Started off easy, didn't even take my pedo. Just relaxed and one foot in front of the other, not thinking of speed or time. Just wandering around thoughts of what's coming, and the changes I'm going to have to make. In about a year from now, if I keep on track, I'll have a future. Today I have hopes for some future good times, and it's been awhile since I've felt that way.
I took my toque off before the end of my block, and let my hair flow out in the air, it felt good, and there were little occasional raindrops on my face, and everything smells alive again.
So, just ran and lounged around the pictures of my future forward thoughts. And I didn't stop running, and got excited when Biggie came on, talking about I'm coming up, and ran fast alongside Lake Trail School and around the store again...and it was easy, and I kept going faster than I've ever been able to sing along and run before.
This year might see some huge changes for me, other than this whole insane running show, which is one of those never thought I would things, too. I can't wait to see what happens...
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Warm! and Sun!
Hah!
It was warm out today on my run.
I needed some goodness, and there it was given. I'm just feeling miserable today.
I'm really tired of not being able to afford things. I dont want much...but I dont want to feel bad about not making the soup I made for ten dollars last longer than seven dinners.
I went to the airpark. First rad thing was the olympic downhill skier guy from Ghana was there filming some interview. Im just stoked on there being an olympic skier from a nation thats never seen snow. Rad dreams.
I started my warm up walk, and there was a nest in construction really low down on a bendy tree. I had to climb up the bank and look down into it to see if there were eggs yet, I was so excited. There weren't, though.
The running was easy, I got to take off my hoody halfway through the first lap.
I saw my first kingfisher of the year, it hung out in the same area for the next three passes. I called him "Sir".
And on my last lap, coming through the low driftwood, a little hawk shot up out of the wood debris right next to me. It scared me a little and circled around me slowly enough that I could have a look at him. He looked a little disheveled.
I ran up the molehill at the southeast corner, its so little, but I haven't really charged any hills yet. It felt good to be on a trail. Uneven and dodgy. I got to the top and threw my arms up to the sun. I felt like a fucking champ.
The sun was out, but the sky was still all grey. A mist hung over the mountain tops, but I could see the runs on the ski hill. I could see all the hills facing me. I got a feeling the sun might hang out for a day...it's so warm!
My hip feels tight. Work stress. Have to be careful not to stretch it out too much. I overdo it sometimes when it is stress sore and end up hurting it...have to balance.
Miserable crappy wanking mood with endorphin sun induced happy observations.
Balance.
It was warm out today on my run.
I needed some goodness, and there it was given. I'm just feeling miserable today.
I'm really tired of not being able to afford things. I dont want much...but I dont want to feel bad about not making the soup I made for ten dollars last longer than seven dinners.
I went to the airpark. First rad thing was the olympic downhill skier guy from Ghana was there filming some interview. Im just stoked on there being an olympic skier from a nation thats never seen snow. Rad dreams.
I started my warm up walk, and there was a nest in construction really low down on a bendy tree. I had to climb up the bank and look down into it to see if there were eggs yet, I was so excited. There weren't, though.
The running was easy, I got to take off my hoody halfway through the first lap.
I saw my first kingfisher of the year, it hung out in the same area for the next three passes. I called him "Sir".
And on my last lap, coming through the low driftwood, a little hawk shot up out of the wood debris right next to me. It scared me a little and circled around me slowly enough that I could have a look at him. He looked a little disheveled.
I ran up the molehill at the southeast corner, its so little, but I haven't really charged any hills yet. It felt good to be on a trail. Uneven and dodgy. I got to the top and threw my arms up to the sun. I felt like a fucking champ.
The sun was out, but the sky was still all grey. A mist hung over the mountain tops, but I could see the runs on the ski hill. I could see all the hills facing me. I got a feeling the sun might hang out for a day...it's so warm!
My hip feels tight. Work stress. Have to be careful not to stretch it out too much. I overdo it sometimes when it is stress sore and end up hurting it...have to balance.
Miserable crappy wanking mood with endorphin sun induced happy observations.
Balance.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
4k tempo, I'll run...
I need to do some strength training, I think. For my knees. I'll have to see my magic physio man to find some exercises that won't fuck with my back ish.
I got the letter saying I'm allowed to start school in September, counting on that I finish this retarded english course I'm doing through correspondence. I hate essay writing, but I am going to have to step it up. It looks like they rolled back the finish date by two months on me. Those bastards!
So I ran, after I read the letter, thinking, I'll compose my next stupid essay while I run...but of course my head emptied of all thought, except: BREATHE.
So I did, and I tried to go faster, I did. I couldn't breathe today, so I just ran and didn't stop. I ache.
And now, back to that stupid essay...
I got the letter saying I'm allowed to start school in September, counting on that I finish this retarded english course I'm doing through correspondence. I hate essay writing, but I am going to have to step it up. It looks like they rolled back the finish date by two months on me. Those bastards!
So I ran, after I read the letter, thinking, I'll compose my next stupid essay while I run...but of course my head emptied of all thought, except: BREATHE.
So I did, and I tried to go faster, I did. I couldn't breathe today, so I just ran and didn't stop. I ache.
And now, back to that stupid essay...
I'll rise...
Black thoughts and bad ideas
this day is not my best. I know I have pms, and I've been waiting for my darkest winter low. It hits like this, dont worry, if you didn't know. Bottomed out on my overwhelming onrush of paranoia, hysteria, dread, anxiety, daydream thoughts of future and past situations/failures/achievements/images/feelings...etc, the usual. I stayed in my bed. I haven't really gotten out of bed all day. I don't think I will. The house is really cold. When I do get up, I find that the warmest, most comfortable option is back under the blankets with my sherpa socks and toque on. So I crawl back in. There is no firewood.
I'm not too sure where I'll go if I leave the house, it's best for me on days like these just not to. It's nothing really out of sorts, I seem to lose about a day a month to my insanity, if not a crazy backache. It's one or the other. Contain it and feel the physical pain, or release it and feel the emotional pain. They both suck. But I'm working on growing those feelings!
My back only hurts a little. It's a focused burning today, from the back and on the side. It's not a good thing, but it isn't new. It gets worse at this time of the month every time. It's not enough to keep me from running, but I don't think my run is going to happen. I'm too cold for outside. I'm too cold inside my house...although...running will make me warm.
I watched a documentary on Terry Fox to try and get stoked for going on my run. I shed tears at every phrase, total pms steez! I do feel like a total pussy now, though. Did you know he made 26 miles a day, every day while he was on his x-country mission? Not just on one day, marked on the calendar, when there is a crazy marathon coming up, but every day! He is going up on my hero wall-why isn't he already there? Because I've been slacking at my wall upkeep...
I know it isn't cool to talk about spirituality, but after a day spent inside my dreary mind today, I decided to go see the buddhists. On Tuesdays they have a drop in meditation and lesson. It's in a beautiful little underground temple draped with bright cloths and incredible pictures. The monk chants and we sit quietly and meditate on oneness...or whatever I it is I can't get off my mind. And near the end he'll play that long wooden Tibetan tuba that sounds like you couldnt even lift it, its sound is so heavy. Then he finishes the meditation sesh with the ringing bowl that makes all my hairs stand up and ring with it. Nice.
He talked about blessings...about the daily act of giving something, doing something, to connect yourself with whatever it is that is holy to you. Bigger than you. Even connecting with heroes or people you admire by giving their readings or teachings your time and attention...and just being grateful...as always.
It lifted my spirits a little and took my mind away from my self centered craziness that I guess I get swamped in at pms time. I don't dislike this time, it just brings a lot of troubles to my mind. I've learned that I don't get anxious or stressed about all this stuff for nothing...it is like my deepest feelings alarm clock. It forces me to look at all the crap I normally would try not to, but should...
I don't like the feeling bad, but once I'm through it...I hope I move forward in a different way than I do when I run.
So, this is the story of a failed run day, but I think I took the time I needed to succeed where it matters.
Word.
this day is not my best. I know I have pms, and I've been waiting for my darkest winter low. It hits like this, dont worry, if you didn't know. Bottomed out on my overwhelming onrush of paranoia, hysteria, dread, anxiety, daydream thoughts of future and past situations/failures/achievements/images/feelings...etc, the usual. I stayed in my bed. I haven't really gotten out of bed all day. I don't think I will. The house is really cold. When I do get up, I find that the warmest, most comfortable option is back under the blankets with my sherpa socks and toque on. So I crawl back in. There is no firewood.
I'm not too sure where I'll go if I leave the house, it's best for me on days like these just not to. It's nothing really out of sorts, I seem to lose about a day a month to my insanity, if not a crazy backache. It's one or the other. Contain it and feel the physical pain, or release it and feel the emotional pain. They both suck. But I'm working on growing those feelings!
My back only hurts a little. It's a focused burning today, from the back and on the side. It's not a good thing, but it isn't new. It gets worse at this time of the month every time. It's not enough to keep me from running, but I don't think my run is going to happen. I'm too cold for outside. I'm too cold inside my house...although...running will make me warm.
I watched a documentary on Terry Fox to try and get stoked for going on my run. I shed tears at every phrase, total pms steez! I do feel like a total pussy now, though. Did you know he made 26 miles a day, every day while he was on his x-country mission? Not just on one day, marked on the calendar, when there is a crazy marathon coming up, but every day! He is going up on my hero wall-why isn't he already there? Because I've been slacking at my wall upkeep...
I know it isn't cool to talk about spirituality, but after a day spent inside my dreary mind today, I decided to go see the buddhists. On Tuesdays they have a drop in meditation and lesson. It's in a beautiful little underground temple draped with bright cloths and incredible pictures. The monk chants and we sit quietly and meditate on oneness...or whatever I it is I can't get off my mind. And near the end he'll play that long wooden Tibetan tuba that sounds like you couldnt even lift it, its sound is so heavy. Then he finishes the meditation sesh with the ringing bowl that makes all my hairs stand up and ring with it. Nice.
He talked about blessings...about the daily act of giving something, doing something, to connect yourself with whatever it is that is holy to you. Bigger than you. Even connecting with heroes or people you admire by giving their readings or teachings your time and attention...and just being grateful...as always.
It lifted my spirits a little and took my mind away from my self centered craziness that I guess I get swamped in at pms time. I don't dislike this time, it just brings a lot of troubles to my mind. I've learned that I don't get anxious or stressed about all this stuff for nothing...it is like my deepest feelings alarm clock. It forces me to look at all the crap I normally would try not to, but should...
I don't like the feeling bad, but once I'm through it...I hope I move forward in a different way than I do when I run.
So, this is the story of a failed run day, but I think I took the time I needed to succeed where it matters.
Word.
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