wet cat

Thats how I felt tonight. I was completely dissassembled over the course of the class. I went for camel, and it finally happened. I opened up my chest, I went back all the way, and afterwards I collapsed in a heap of wet mess and did not even care. I cried. No biggie, by that point, my face was so red and soaked, no one could possibly have known, but I let loose a few tears and just acknowledged that, yeah, I'm stressed, Im stretched thin, Im going through a lot of memories, a lot of emotions lately with my practicums, I'm tired, feel sick, and a little lonely, so I let it out. I felt much better afterwards, I no longer felt pukey, like the sick in my stomach was those emotions all held in and not hunger after all. I actually felt so good after that I tried to resolve to cry more next time, but I guess there really is no planning that.

name change?

I'm considering an alteration. The running thing is all last year for me, I don't envision a lot more of it in my future. Maybe a nice once a week thing...depends on how my knee heals now, too.

I injured my knee when I got back to the cold after my Mexican Solstice holiday. Big Monday night living room dance party, Van Halen, Diamond Dave, 'Jump', high kicks in my living room, you got the picture. For some reason, after six weeks away from any exercise at all, the very excellent-off-the-couch-split-scissor-kick was amazing in the air, but really lacked on the heavy landing. I am a bit limping now, with a tender spot on the inside of my left knee. Had to cancel my skate lessons for the month. NOT happy AT ALL. the one thing I'd managed not to hurt yet. bam.

The yoga has given me more strength and vitality in 16 sessions than running did. It seemed that the running always hurt. I got some good out of it, I will not stop completely, but I don't see myself feeling the need to prove to myself any more that I can run farther than anyone really needs to these days.

So, studio back open, two more unlimited student months on the roll, and except for taking it a bit easy on the knee its good, very good, to be back. It is still the most challenging, and most worthwhile thing at the same time. It is good for my mind when all this school thinking just isn't.

old friend!

Friday I was up so early, that by 9:30, I was ready for a break from exam writing. I went to a yin class ready to sweat, and then found out its not the hot kind. I go into the studio, and there is Sandra! I broke my own rule of not talking in the studio, even though other people do, especially in this one, even the instructors! Loudly! It was so nice to see her and catch up a little, though. The class was good. I did shake, while holding some loong stretches and pushing myself, but I did not break a sweat, just gentle hip and hammy stretching.
Since that one was so easy, I went back for the later one. It was pretty good, but more weird, backward triangles and things I didn't get. My hamstrings and quads were worked and weak from the morning class. I could barely kneel at all. I poured sweat all over the place, in puddles around the mat. But it wasn't so hot, really. I enjoyed it very much. Finally, the pain is gone. Not limping, not aching in the joints. Five classes and I'm back to myself.

sweaty shaky

I was spewing out sweat tonight! I liked the less downward dogs, interesting super low eagle, and new way to practice camel that is easier to get into. Plank and side plank were harder than yesterday and I feel it in the sides of my ribs in front, it feels like someones chewed on the bones and they're bruised, but its nice, I know its a good hurt. We did some postures from warrior that were frustrating kneeling on one foot and keeping hips low and square that just huurt my kneecaps. I got the stretch, but meanwhile my kneecaps were shouting! Floor was too short, my knee did something weird in insect, and the twisted knee stack over to one side one is painful when it used to be such a release. Need to do those more often, I guess...so glad I went, good stretches, just hard to follow some of them.

stretching out the aches

Im back at yoga. I found another place in town where they use a warm room. My body is happy already. I've been to two classes. I am sore in the little muscles again, sore in the right places, not so sore in the big ones. My hip and back pain is backing off quick. Its taking me back to 2000 in my mind when I took yoga across the street from the coffee shop I worked at on Main and Broadway in a little tiny upstairs studio. I swear it was called the smiling buddha. I dont trust my memory from that era of skateboard head cracks to the pavement and hitting all the other wrong things hard, but I remember doing dragonflies and feeling pretty damn good about that.

Its back to the classics: downward dogs, ujjayi breathing, childs poses, planks and proper triangles. I'm working hard, but my shoulder is killing me, tonight it was my wrist. It isn't hot, but it is warm. It's a 'hot flow class', and its nice to sweat but not struggle. I challenge myself to my limit, and sometimes that turns to shaking muscle struggle, but not in the same ultra super lucky happy eights special extreme way as the Bikrams.

indoor day!

I went up to the pool this morning, cos my house is too cold to shower in right now. I am not getting into the groove of lighting fires, I don't know why I can't get the hang of it. I can light a campfire no problem, but I can't stack the wood the same inside this fireplace! Anyway...
I sat in the steam room for ten minutes, it was great. I was intense. It was magical. There was one man in there, and he was chanting, very quietly, but the echo combined with my sub par hearing made it pretty phenomenal. He chanted the whole time. It made a mundane and kind of difficult experience excellent. Thanks, chanting man!
Then I went into the gym and ran on the treadmill for 45 minutes. I went 5.4 kms. I ran slow. My knees ached a little, but it felt so good to sweat, and I didnt get out of breathe at all, even when I cranked up the pace. Then I went to meet with school project friends in the cafeteria.
I miss yoga, though. My muscles and tendons and ligaments are dying for stretchies! They hijack me and force me to stretch them at odd times. Soon, there is a bunch of equipment in there today. Soon.

oh no!

MASSIVE FLOOD in the yoga studio!
Luke is making fun of me because I am kind of freaking out! No yoga...for how long? Can they find an alternate place to do it? When can I go again? I am having awesome pain free skate sessions! I am learning new things! It cannot stop now! There is no way I can switch back to running right now with these arctic winds blowing through here. Oh dear...can't wait to see what happens next.